


Heaven and Hell Run on Paperwork Too

by Orithain, Rina9294



Series: Unlikely Habits [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-18
Updated: 2013-10-18
Packaged: 2017-12-29 19:02:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a power vacuum in both Heaven and Hell, much to Gabe and Crowley's disgust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven and Hell Run on Paperwork Too

**Author's Note:**

> Completely AU now after season 6's Crowley episodes, but we like our version better. (And look, it's brand new, never posted or published before!)

Crowley regarded the being standing on the other side of his desk with obvious disfavor, making the demon shift nervously from one foot to the other.

"What do you not understand about bugger off?" Crowley asked, still in a politely interested tone, though the other demon was sure that wasn't going to last much longer.

"Lucifer's followers are trying to consolidate what power they have left, and you're the only one with power enough to stop them," the demon protested. He looked like a teenaged mall rat, with long, mousy brown hair caught back in a ponytail and a skinny body that the human host would probably never have a chance to grow into dressed in loose t-shirt and gravity-defying oversize jeans that hung halfway down his ass.

"You don't seem to understand that I. Don't. Care!" The final words were a roar.

"And what about when they show up at your door?" the other demon asked almost desperately. "What happened before will be nothing compared to what they do now!"

"Well, depending on how annoyed we are at being interrupted, the archangel I live with might manifest and turn them into a pile of ash," Crowley replied. "You remember him, the archangel Gabriel?"

The other demon swallowed nervously but stood his ground. "Yes, but if they have help, it may not matter."

Crowley stared at him. "And just who exactly do you think is capable of doing harm to me _and_ Gabriel?" he asked incredulously. "All the major players are gone, thanks in large part to the Winchesters."

"I can't say," the other demon glanced upward then back at Crowley, "but the word is that the two of you aren't the only angel and demon who can work together."

For a moment Crowley's expression remained blank, but then it turned cold and hard. "Gabriel!"

"Yes, babe?" the archangel asked, appearing behind Crowley, his arms going around the demon's waist as he nuzzled his neck, for all the world seeming not to notice the demon wearing a teenager standing in front of them.

"What the fuck is Raphael doing?" For once Crowley didn't respond to Gabriel's affection, completely focused on the finding out what the angel knew.

"Hiding right now; I haven't seen much of him since the last time I kicked his ass." Gabriel stilled against Crowley's back and raised his head to study the quaking demon standing before them. "Why?"

"This quivering mass of jello just told me that there are rumors of another angel and demon working together. Care to guess who that might be and why?"

"He's jealous of all the fun we have?" Gabriel's question was spoken in an amused tone though his amber eyes were flinty.

"He wouldn't know fun if it bit him on the ass," Crowley replied dryly before his dark gaze pinned the other demon in place. "Do you have any actual reason to believe they would show up here?"

"You helped put Lucifer back in his cage, and Gabriel tormented him while he was stealing Lucifer and Michael's vessels' souls back," the demon whispered. "They want to kill you."

"Sucks to be them then," Gabriel mused.

"Raphael and his pet demon are working with Lucifer?" Crowley asked in surprise. "I can see a demon, but Raphael? And which demon is it?"

"No," the demon tensed as if waiting to be destroyed for disagreeing, but when he remained whole, he continued, "the demon is working with Lucifer from what I understand; the angel has his own agenda."

"And they figure if they get us out of the way, they can go back to duking it out like they want," Gabriel growled.

"I think I may have to make a little trip to Hell and do some housecleaning," Crowley mused with a feral smile curving his lips.

"If there is anything we can do to help," the other demon offered, giving a sickly smile.

"Now that's a sweet offer." Gabriel's smile was wider but vicious. "You see, I have faith in Crowley's skill, but if he gets even a scratch down there, now I know who to come look for."

If possible, the demon turned even paler, and he seemed to wish to be anywhere but there. "I should see what support I can raise," he said, backing toward the door.

"You do that," Crowley agreed, and the words had barely left his lips when the demon bolted out the door.

"He may not ever stop running," Crowley mused, casting an amused glance at Gabriel. "I think you scared him."

"Boo hoo, my heart bleeds for him," Gabriel muttered before he nuzzled Crowley's neck again, this time his wings appearing to enfold the demon at the same time. "I should have known it was too quiet up there."

Crowley sighed and leaned into the embrace, stroking the soft underside of Gabriel's wings with one hand while holding on to him with the other. "It's one thing after the other," he grumbled. "What happened to the days when we could just check out for a while and shag ourselves blind?"

"Apparently that was too boring for us, though I wouldn't agree with that; besides, we had a millennia of quiet, we must be due."

"I want a honeymoon period, damn it!"

"Once we take care of this, we'll have one," Gabriel promised.

"I'm going to hold you to that," Crowley assured him.

"If it's any help, Dean isn't going to be any happier when I commandeer Castiel."

That earned him a quick grin. "You might want to watch your back around Dean for a while after that."

"I'm sure he'll feel better once he breaks a chair or two over me," Gabriel shrugged. "And I wouldn't drag the baby bro with me except for the fact that up there, I want to make sure I have someone I trust at my back." He frowned at that. "Something you won't have."

"You forget I have Laddie. He'll happily have anyone who comes at me for lunch."

"Of course he will," Gabriel nodded against Crowley's shoulder, his tone light.

"And I have a good reason to come back," Crowley murmured, resting his cheek on Gabriel's head.

"Just don't stay out past your curfew, or I'll have to go down there again and bring you home."

"You can spank me when I get back."

"And just how is that punishment for you?"

"Oh, was I supposed to be coming up with punishments?"

Gabriel huffed out a near silent laugh against Crowley's shoulder at that. "The only thing that would include would be me not touching you."

"And that's not going to happen," Crowley responded immediately.

"No way in Heaven or Hell."

Crowley smiled at him. "So don't worry about it; with that inspiring me, I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Don't take too long," Gabriel said, turning Crowley around so that they were face to face and kissed him.

"I won't; you're a lot better company than demons." Crowley hugged Gabriel tightly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"I'm better looking, too," Gabriel reminded him, "and I love you, so be careful."

Crowley gave him a brilliant smile, and then he was gone.

~*~

"Home, sweet home," Crowley muttered, looking around with every appearance of disgust, one hand resting on his hellhound's back. "Right, first order of business is to find someone who thinks they're in charge."

"You came!" The demon who had housed the teenager appeared in front of Crowley, not coming too close to the hellhound.

"You thought I would ignore a threat to Gabriel?" Crowley scoffed. "I'm going to litter the landscape of Hell with bodies."

"It is known that the two of you share a close relationship." The demon looked as if the words hurt to say them.

"The term you're avoiding is in love," Crowley supplied, taking a certain pleasure in the other demon's discomfort.

"Demons do not love!"

"I tried that line too; it didn't really work out for me."

Despite his attempt at subservience, the demon's nose twitched in disgust.

"You might want to keep in mind that keeping him happy is the only reason I don't simply kill everyone and everything in Hell. It would simplify my life immensely."

"Possibly, but there are always more of us coming, aren't there?" The other demon smiled thinly. "You can't fight human nature even without giving them a push."

"But if I raze Hell, there will be no one left to create new demons. Human evil can be dealt with by humans, and I can enjoy my archangel without interruptions."

"Lucifer is down here."

"With no one else to be his hands and eyes in the world above, he would be powerless," Crowley pointed out. "He and Michael can entertain each other, alone in their cage, until the universe itself ends."

"If you believe that, why don't you start?"

"Because I'd have to expend time and effort to accomplish that, and I'd much rather just be left alone!"

"Then why are you here?" the other demon challenged.

"Because if I don't deal with this, it's going to bother Gabriel, and I won't allow that."

"That's just pathetic," a disembodied feminine voice said.

Crowley smirked, not bothered in the least by the comment. "You obviously don't know Gabriel."

"I know that he belongs in the cage and Lucifer out here."

The hellhound at Crowley's side snarled, reflecting Crowley's feelings. "Say another word that sounds like a threat to Gabriel and I'll tear you to pieces."

"Ooo, I'm so scared," the still invisible demon crooned. "You're getting soft, Crowley."

Crowley laughed darkly. "You keep telling yourself that."

"I will because it's the truth."

"Come after me and see how soft I am," Crowley invited, sounding almost eager.

The demon who had been standing in front of him whimpered and vanished as the unseen female chuckled. "Oh no, you won't see me coming, but you'll certainly feel it."

Crowley laughed. "You've improved my mood, so I might even make it quick for you. Maybe."

"You know what they say about quickies; they always leave you wanting more." The other demon's laughter faded into the desolate landscape.

Crowley shook his head, his humor restored by the encounter. Living with Gabriel as he did, he sometimes forgot how much he enjoyed a good fight—that he would win, of course. It amused him that so many demons were young enough to believe the story he'd created a couple of centuries back about his origins. It made it all the more entertaining when they were stupid enough to come after him and discovered just how old and powerful he really was.

"I think you'll be enjoying some demon kibble soon, Laddie," he said, petting the massive hellhound at his side.

~*~

"Hello, boys," Gabriel drawled as he appeared at Bobby's house, surprising the four men and one angel there in the midst of their lunch. "I need a favor."

Adam appeared star struck, which had Dean rolling his eyes. "Are you going to get me killed again?" the eldest Winchester brother wanted to know.

"Nah, I need the baby bro," Gabriel grinned. "There's some stuff going on upstairs that I need to deal with."

"So why do you need Cas?" Sam asked.

"You are _not_ getting him killed," Dean growled.

"I'm not going to get him killed," Gabriel sighed. "I just would like some backup."

"Can I help?" Adam asked anxiously, causing Gabriel to grin at him.

"Thanks for the offer, kid, but not this time."

"Seriously, Adam, you need to get over this thing you have for angels," Sam muttered.

"How long are you stealing Cas for?" Dean wanted to know.

"Hopefully not long; there's a thing I have to deal with up there."

"With Raphael?"

Dean frowned, not liking the idea, but he knew that Castiel would want to help Gabriel with that.

"Yeah," the archangel sighed, "with Raphael. Crowley's dealing with the other end of it, but I need to nip Rafe in the bud."

"What do you mean Crowley's dealing with the other end of it?" Dean straightened up in his chair. "Christ, Gabe, every demon in Hell wants a piece of him."

"Do you think you're telling me something I don't know?" Gabriel snarled, staring at him. "Are you saying you want to go help him?"

Dean went stark white.

"Gabriel!" Castiel snapped, half-rising from his seat, causing the archangel to raise a hand and rub his face.

"Sorry, I'm a little testy right now."

"If I thought I could help, I would," Dean said, although he looked sick.

"All of you are staying put here, well, except for Cas." Gabriel's smile was tighter than his normal sardonic grin. "And don't worry about anyone coming to visit; the place is warded against anyone but Cas and me."

"Jes' what did you do to my house?" Bobby growled at the same time Sam asked how he'd done it.

"Archangel, remember?" Gabriel sing-songed before looking over at Castiel. "Ready?"

Before he could answer, Dean pulled him into a tight embrace, then kissed him. "Don't let that tricky bastard get you killed."

"I will come back to you," Castiel promised, whispering the words against Dean's lips.

"You'd better. I really hate Heaven, and I'll be pissed if I have to go up there after you." Though the words were grumbled, the palm that cupped Castiel's cheek was tender.

"Then I had better make sure you don't have to," Castiel mused, turning his head to kiss Dean's palm then close his fingers over the spot.

"Good plan." Dean let go of him, and his eyes went to Gabriel, not threateningly but almost pleadingly.

"None of us want to be there," the archangel responded quietly, his expression somber, "but like the song says, sometimes it isn't what you want, it's what you need."

Dean quirked a quick smile. "Yeah, and I guess you're the guy who has to take care of that sort of stuff now."

Gabriel quirked a grin that didn't reach his eyes. "Does that mean I get to wear a ten-gallon hat and spurs?"

Dean snorted. "What's that old expression about foxes and henhouses?"

Gabriel smirked before looking over. "Ready to go?"

Dean's eyes went to Castiel, and he forced a brief smile for the angel. "Hurry home, honey."

"I will return as quickly as possible," Castiel promised, his gaze holding Dean's as he took a step back toward Gabriel, who sighed and shook his head.

"Young love...," he murmured before he and Castiel vanished.

"You should be more respectful of Gabriel," Adam told Dean, who rolled his eyes.

"Jesus, just get a room, already. Anything if you'll just stop mooning over him."

"I'm not mooning over him; I respect him!" Adam glowered while Sam sighed.

"Guys..."

~*~

"Don't make me go looking for you," Crowley bit out, waiting for his erstwhile guide to reappear, possibly in the form of a mouse this time. It would certainly seem more appropriate.

"What do you want from me?" the other demon asked as he appeared, his shoulders hunched as if he expected to be hit.

"I want you to lead me to whoever I need to kill to put an end to this crap so I can go home."

"She was here; I don't know where she went," the other demon protested.

"Find out."

The other demon wavered in place then vanished, appearing a handful of seconds later, looking even more hunted. "She is near Lucifer's cage."

"Oh good, this should be entertaining." Crowley's smile could only be described as feral. "You can go now." Even before the cowering demon could vanish, Crowley did, reappearing out of sight but near enough to Lucifer's cage to see it and its two inhabitants as well as the demons standing outside it being ignored by both trapped archangels.

"Where is he?" one of the demons crowded around the female snarled, earning himself the loss of an ear.

"He will come, and then he will die, and that will be the end of his disgusting, angel-loving existence."

Crowley's mocking laughter rang out, drawing even Lucifer and Michael's attention.

"I told you he'd show up next," Lucifer said smugly.

"Which means that the numbers of your followers are about to be lessened," Michael responded dryly. "As I'm sure that they'll underestimate him."

"How fitting that you appear before our ruler to die," the female demon snarled while behind her the others stirred restlessly.

Crowley's lips curled in something that might have been a smile as he moved where they could see him. "You think you can kill me?" He laughed mockingly. "Just how old are you?"

"Older than you," she responded tauntingly. "I assure you, my reputation is earned, not bought. You may have heard of me; the Winchesters call me Meg."

Crowley's smile carried true amusement. "Too young to know better then. You obviously believe that story I created a little while back when I grew bored. Do I _look_ Scottish to you?" He shook his head, chuckling. "Well, come on then. Come and kill me," he taunted.

"No wonder Gabriel likes him," Michael observed to Lucifer. "They're very much alike."

"Perhaps, though do recall that Gabriel did die."

Meg snarled and darted forward, her hands morphing into claws that she swung at Crowley's face. He easily batted them aside and punched her in the face, shattering a cheekbone and her jaw, though it didn't seem to slow her down at all as she swooped in, driving for Crowley's stomach as she clenched her other hand, bringing her power to bear. Crowley laughed again and lashed out with his own, smashing her to the ground and letting her see just what she was really attacking.

She controlled her reaction well, clambering to her feet. "Kill him!" she ordered, waving her good arm to order the other troops on. Most of them surged forward, but many hung back, watching and waiting.

Crowley didn't pay attention, simply surging forward in attack, the hellhound at his side and joined by others.

"Your supporters aren't faring too well," Michael observed, narrowing his eyes as he watched the carnage outside the cage he and Lucifer shared.

"It's not as if they could get me out of here even if they did win," Lucifer pointed out. "And Crowley is what a demon should be. Or at least he used to be, and even with Gabriel's influence, he's still preferable to these pathetic, mewling creatures."

"They're derived from humanity; could they be anything else?"

"Gabriel apparently would disagree."

Michael looked out to where the demon battle still raged, then back at Lucifer. "Gabriel is wrong."

"I agree." Lucifer shrugged. "But it's still somewhat satisfying to see his choice decimating these others."

"If nothing else, perhaps this will draw our brother down again so that your demons can get him near to us again." Michael's smile was thin and dangerous as they watched Crowley dispatch several more demons.

"You do remember that there's no way out of here, don't you?" Lucifer pointed out. "And I doubt that he's going to crack it open again."

"There's no way out, but there are ways in."

"Again, Gabriel's not stupid and has no reason to get in."

"We'll see."

"You're still a stupid, arrogant prick."

"And you still rail against order. Would you rather that our brother and your creation be in charge of Heaven and Hell?"

"Than you? Yes!"

Michael sneered and turned his attention back to the carnage outside, which seemed to be drawing to a close.

The demons who had held back now entered the battle, but they chose to assist Crowley, now that nearly all the opposing side was destroyed. As the battle wound down, Crowley seemed to be considering killing them as well, just to be rid of them, but in the end, he let them live.

After ordering those who had assisted him to clean up the mess, Crowley turned to stare at Michael and Lucifer, his gaze less than friendly.

Lucifer raised his hands and slowly applauded. "I appreciate survival of the fittest."

Crowley's gaze turned even harder. "If I could destroy you, I would."

"He takes after you," Michael commented, deigning to speak again.

"And you're a complete and utter ass."

"That he is," Lucifer nodded. "So, you've taken out the competition, Crowley; are you assuming control down here?"

Looking utterly disgusted, Crowley growled, "I don't appear to have a choice, unless I want some other idiot to try it and come annoy me."

"All hail the King of Hell." As if in response to Lucifer's sardonic comment, a ball of fire appeared above them, streaking toward the smoking, pitted ground.

Crowley leaped back in time to avoid being barbecued, and he gaped in surprise when the fireball resolved itself into Gabriel and Raphael, who seemed to be doing their best to kill each other.

"Great, four of a kind," Crowley growled, but he cast an intent look from Raphael to the cage entrapping Lucifer and Michael.

"Gabriel would not agree with that," Castiel said as he appeared at Crowley's side.

"I only meant in the sense of being archangels. Obviously, the only two that are really alike are Michael and Raphael."

"Perhaps soon, three of them will be together again."

Crowley turned his head to eye the angel wryly. "I really hope you mean Raphael will end up in there with the other two and not that Michael will be out here again."

"Why would I want Michael out?" Castiel asked, returning the demon's gaze levelly. "That would only continue the violence that we are trying to stop—and it would endanger Dean.

The two archangels broke apart and circled each other, swords held before them while their brothers looked on from inside their cage.

"He'd probably get pissed if I intervened, wouldn't he?" Crowley mused, his gaze now intent on Raphael.

"He would," Castiel nodded. "Gabriel told me that I was to stay out and to keep you out as well; he wishes to contain Raphael, not to kill him."

Crowley made a noncommittal sound, but though he would never admit it aloud, he knew perfectly well that he couldn't take on an archangel. Were he fool enough to try, Raphael would obliterate him. That didn't change the fact, however, that he wanted to kill the angel, not least for the blows he was landing on Gabriel.

"Keep an eye on the two in the cage," he muttered. "I'd hate to see them get out when Gabriel shoves brother number three in there."

"I do not believe that that is possible, but I will be on guard," Castiel promised, his lips thinning with the knowledge that there would be little he could do to stop the archangels if they managed to break free, but knowing that he would try.

"I meant so that you can warn Gabe. Neither he nor Dean would appreciate you getting yourself killed."

"I am aware of that."

The two archangels collided again, Gabriel driving Raphael back step by step, brightness flaring around them as they drew on their natures to give them strength, and Castiel flicked a glance toward Crowley. "It may be best if you looked away," he said, stepping in front of the demon to shield him.

"If they keep that up, all of Hell is going to fall down around them," Crowley observed even as he half turned, sheltering in Castiel's shadow.

Castiel looked toward the battle, his lips thinning again as he watched Gabriel driving Raphael back toward the cage. "I believe that it will not continue for much longer."

"Gabriel _is_ winning, right?"

"Yes."

His sword locked with Raphael's, Gabriel shifted his balance, placed his tennis shoe clad foot against Raphael's chest and pushed, sending him flailing backwards. The fingers of one hand touched the cage, and suddenly the archangel vanished to appear beside Lucifer and Michael, both of them looking disgusted with him.

"You three play nice now," Gabriel panted, vanishing his sword and resting his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

The moment he heard those words and the light vanished, Crowley darted around Castiel and moved to Gabriel's side, drawing him into a tight embrace. "Idiot!"

"Love you too, honeybun," Gabriel muttered. "And this from the person down here kicking ass and taking names."

"You could have gotten yourself killed," Crowley growled.

"Ditto." Gabriel raised his head and rested a hand against Crowley's face, rubbing his thumb against his jaw as he glanced over at Castiel. "Go home to Dean, bro; we'll talk later."

"Come on," Crowley murmured once Castiel vanished, "we should get home too." He looked over his shoulder at the three caged archangels. "And we can talk about how we seem to be in charge of Heaven and Hell," he added with a sigh.

"Talk about bringing work home with you," Gabriel muttered.

"We'll figure out how to deal with it."

"True and I do have the little bro to help me while you have a mostly depopulated area." Gabriel looked around, ignoring his brothers. "Did Laddie have a good meal?"

"He indulged in gluttony," Crowley laughed. "Now he wants to go home and doze slothfully in the sun."

"I'm down with that idea," Gabriel mused before snapping his fingers and delivering them both to the kitchen of their house. "And with having a few gallons of beer as well."

"I think I'm in the mood for margaritas," Crowley decided. A frosty, condensation-covered pitcher appeared on the table, accompanied by salted glasses. "Want one?" he asked the archangel he was still holding tightly.

"Got my beer, thanks," Gabriel assured him, nodding toward the large frosted mug that appeared by the pitcher.

"All we need is a pool boy," Crowley said. He glanced down as Laddie pushed past them to curl up in the sunshine by the patio door. "Some ferocious hellhound you are," he said.

"He's full; leave him alone, or we'll be cleaning up half-digested demon bits," Gabriel chuckled, starting them walking toward the table, their clothes somehow changing to shorts and t-shirts on the way. "And we don't need a pool boy; we'd wear him to a nub within an hour."

"What do you have against hors d'oeuvres?" Crowley asked, barely managing to keep a straight face.

"Fun for us, not for him, and by the way, we _are_ going to talk about what just happened after we've had enough to drink and fucked each other stupid."

"You're no better than I am," Crowley grumbled. "But I like the fucking stupid part."

"Never said I was," Gabriel shrugged. "And the fucking stupid part is always good."

"Damn right. We can call it a merger of Heaven and Hell now," Crowley added wryly.

"Helven? Hevl?" Gabriel offered with a sly grin.

Crowley groaned and silenced him with a kiss, Gabriel laughing into his mouth as he steered them toward the doublewide lounge chair, the margaritas and beer appearing on the table beside it.

"Are you trying to get me drunk to have your way with me?" Crowley wanted to know.

"I don't have to get you drunk for that—and have my way with you? Are you a Harlequin romance character?"

Crowley laughed. "No, I go straight for the porn. Which reminds me, you made a porn video and didn't invite me?"

"Did you watch it?" Gabriel asked curiously.

Crowley shook his head, his expression sobering. "No, I hadn't reached the point where I could yet."

Gabriel pressed a kiss to his forehead at that. "I knew the boys wouldn't either; it didn't go anywhere past where they would have watched. I really wasn't... up to it."

Crowley's arms tightened around Gabriel, and he drew in a careful breath. "One of these days we'll make one together, and I guarantee you'll be up to it." Despite the joking tone, his grasp never loosened on the archangel, causing Gabriel to shift uncomfortably

"Urmm, babe, the ribs..."

His arms loosened immediately, and Crowley closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Gabriel's. "I wish you would stop almost getting yourself killed."

"Look who's talking," Gabriel murmured, his lips brushing against Crowley's brow.

"I wasn't fighting an archangel... _again_." But Crowley was slowly relaxing as it sank in that they'd done it, eliminated all of the major threats in Heaven _and_ Hell.

"Think about it, babe," Gabriel said, brushing a hand over the demon's dark hair. "As much as it pains me to admit it, would Dad really have brought me back to do nothing but decorate your bed? The baby bro is good, but Rafe would have made mincemeat of him, and that would have tortured Dean more, and we all agree he doesn't need that."

"No," Crowley admitted. "Being favored by your Father doesn't seem to work out too well for humans. I was starting to wonder if Dean's middle name was Job."

"I think he's gone beyond that, plus Job never got to bone a cute little angel." Gabriel snickered at the last.

"That we know of," Crowley pointed out before laughing. "And I think Castiel does plenty of boning of his own."

"That I know, period."

Crowley's eyebrows rose. "Oh, were you the archangel watching over him?"

Gabriel only smiled.

"You really are my favorite pervy voyeur," Crowley chuckled. "You would have made an incredible demon."

"We would have killed each other in a decade if that was the case. Much better this way, plus it allowed us to stretch our natures and prove who we really were," Gabriel assured him, sliding a hand up beneath the back of Crowley's shirt.

"Not all good and not all bad. Shades of grey," Crowley murmured as he arched into the touch, all of their clothing vanishing in an instant.

"Welcome to the world as it is today."

"I'd rather welcome you." Crowley regarded him through heavy-lidded eyes and then bit Gabriel's shoulder, the archangel sucking in a breath and sighing in pleasure at the sensation.

"Don't hear me arguing," he rumbled.

"Well then..." Crowley twisted so that he was straddling Gabriel, the angel's hardening cock nestled against his ass, and he rocked down, biting his lip to hold back his hiss of delight.

"I guess we're saving the drinks for after then," Gabriel murmured as he slid his hands up the demon's sides, bringing him down so that they could grind together.

"For intermission." Crowley smiled wickedly, Gabriel's grin growing in response as their next move slid his cock into Crowley's body.

"Ahhh." Crowley groaned his pleasure and pressed down to take Gabriel as deep as he could go before regarding him challengingly. "How long can you keep this up?"

"How long can you?" Gabriel shot back, an eyebrow cocked inquisitively.

"No one's ever kept up with me long enough to find out."

"Wrong thing to say, honeybun."

"That all depends on what I was after, sugarplum."

"Hrmm, and what could that be?"

"Mind-blowing sex so good it would kill a human."

"I somehow think we can manage that."

"I thought you might say that."

"Amazing how well we know each other," Gabriel purred, rocking up into the cradle of Crowley's body and snaking a hand around to stroke his cock.

"A couple thousand years will do that for you." Despite the circumstances, Crowley couldn't hold back a snicker. "You should have seen the look on that silly bitch's face when she finally realized I wasn't a two-hundred-year-old tailor."

"Stupid," Gabriel said flatly as he thrust upwards. "Deserved what she got."

"Of course. And I got you." Crowley smiled sensually as he tightened around Gabriel.

"Deserved what you got as well."

"I doubt that, but I'm not giving you back."

Gabriel's smile was mysterious, and he shook his head. "I know it and no, no returns on me."

"Good, because I have plans for the next several years. And a couple of them might even involve getting out of this chair eventually. A _very_ long way in the future."

The hum that greeted that remark ended when Gabriel pulled Crowley down to claim his mouth, sucking on his tongue in time with their coming together. Crowley met him eagerly, his inner muscles rhythmically massaging Gabriel's cock with every thrust.

Gabriel tightened his fist around Crowley's cock, jacking him in time with their movements, the entire lounger jerking beneath them.

"You're perfect," Crowley breathed, flushing as soon as the words left his lips.

"Perfect for you," Gabriel agreed, his next hit scoring a hit on Crowley's prostate.

"Fuck yes," Crowley panted, his fingers digging into Gabriel's shoulders as the hand Gabriel had on his hip slid around his waist, dragging them together with a strength that would have broken bones in a human body.

"Perfect for me too."

"Harder," Crowley demanded against the heated skin of Gabriel's shoulder, and then he bit him again.

Amber eyes glinted in the sunlight as Gabriel splayed his hand at the small of Crowley's back and slammed their bodies together again and again, driving into the demon's body as far as he was able before withdrawing and repeating the move.

Crowley growled and met every thrust with one of his own, again and again in a timeless dance that stretched on far beyond human capacity. Archangel and demon, they came together, balancing and completing one another, and they fought time itself to prevent its end.

They hung on the cusp for endless moments then crashed, spiraling downward together and finally coming back to themselves, gasping harshly for breaths they didn't need.

"I think the earth moved; was that you or me?" Gabriel murmured against Crowley's shoulder.

"That was _us_." Crowley pressed a kiss to the bite mark on Gabriel's shoulder, causing the archangel to squirm lazily beneath him.

"Damn, we're good."

Crowley chuckled contentedly. "Yes, we are."

"And oh so modest."

"What would be the point of that?"

"Good point, it doesn't fit either of us."

"And if we were modest, some people might miss out on our brilliance."

"Much to their detriment."

"Though it might be kinder not to show them what they can't have," Crowley mused.

"You're worried about their feelings? I'm impressed."

Crowley snorted. "I'm worried about the time better spent on other activities that I'd have to waste teaching them their error if they got grabby."

"Hrmm yes, wasting those two seconds would be terrible," Gabriel chuckled, settling them so he could reach out and hand Crowley his margarita.

"Damn right," Crowley replied. "I have much better uses for them. And you."

"And I do so love the way you use me," Gabriel sighed as he lifted his beer, toasting Crowley with it.

"Ditto." Crowley raised his glass to Gabriel in turn and kissed him, the taste of Gabriel and beer mingling delightfully with the tequila, lime and salt on his tongue.

Once the kiss ended, Gabriel leaned back in the lounger with a contented sigh, idly stroking his fingers over the back of Crowley's neck as he watched the sunlight dance on the water of the pool. "So," he finally said, "we going to talk about this?"

Crowley sighed, his head resting on Gabriel's shoulder and one hand idly petting his chest. "Do you think if we ignore it, it'll go away?"

Gabriel simply raised his eyebrows at that.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay, so what now?"

"We kick ass and keep everyone in line so that we can relax?"

"I already did that," Crowley pointed out. "Pretty much anyone who might have become a nuisance is dead now."

"At your end, maybe. We just need to keep reminding the ones who are left of the fact—and of the fact that they need to behave."

"I'm happy to help you out with that if you think it would be of any use."

"You trying to convince my relatives to behave would probably entice them to react in the opposite manner."

"And then you could smite them," Crowley chuckled.

"Trying to turn me into a workhorse?"

"As if that would ever happen."

"Me becoming a workhorse or you setting things on their ear?"

"You, of course. I do that all the time. For that matter, so do you."

"We balance each other nicely—or not so nicely," Gabriel allowed before draining his glass.

"No one else deserves either of us."

"What better for the King of Hell and the Caretaker of Heaven?"

Crowley laughed. "So a king only merits a measly caretaker?"

"You'd rather I really took over for Dad?" Gabriel asked, sounding amused.

"Hell no!" Crowley shuddered. After giving Gabe a dirty look, he concentrated for a moment, and suddenly they were floating a few feet in the air. "Wings," he demanded, feeling he was owed that after the horror of Gabriel's suggestion.

"I'm surprised that you restrained yourself for this long," Gabriel laughed stretching his shoulders as his wings appeared, curving around them.

Crowley made a happy sound, arching up to rub against the soft underside of the feathers before sprawling over Gabriel again. "Love the wings, but I'd still want you without them."

"Mmm, there's that sweet side coming out again," Gabriel purred, stroking Crowley's back as he spoke.

"I am not sweet!" Crowley growled.

"Don't argue with the Caretaker of Heaven."

"Don't argue?" Crowley repeated incredulously. "Are you developing delusions of grandeur?"

Gabriel looked at him, his expression serene, before bursting into laughter as he pulled Crowley against him and flipped them in several tight barrel rolls. "Oh, your face!"

"You're insane." Crowley shook his head, but his dark eyes were alight with amusement. "And let me guess, you were a barnstormer?"

"Wing walker too," Gabriel laughed.

Crowley groaned, causing Gabriel's laughter to grow in volume again. He shook his head at the archangel. "Do you think you could be any more clichéd?"

"If you get clichéd enough, it really isn't a cliché, is it?"

Crowley could only shake his head. "You are unique, Gabriel."

"And you love me because of it."

"You really like making me say that, don't you?" Crowley asked with a wry smile.

"If it helps, I like saying it just as much."

Crowley gave him a tender smile that no one else had ever seen—or would ever see—on his face. "Yes, I love you, Gabriel."

That earned him a gentle kiss as Gabriel lowered them back down to the lounger and stretched out half on top of Crowley, who lazily petted one wing.

"I hate to say, it but you should probably put those away before you fall asleep. I'd think rolling over with them would hurt."

"I think that's the first time you've ever asked me to put them away," Gabriel mused even as he stretched and vanished his wings.

"Well, don't get used to it. But I don't want you to hurt yourself just so I can pet them," Crowley muttered.

Gabriel looked at him at that, his expression a mixture of tenderness and bemusement. "Babe, they're created approximations of my wings, I could bend them in two, and it wouldn't hurt me."

"Oh?" Crowley looked relieved. "Not that I'm in favor of bending them, of course. I like them just the way they are."

"I think it's more than like," Gabriel's tone held a world of amusement.

Crowley looked down his nose at him. "Ha ha."

"I think you love my wings as much as you love me," the archangel continued with a smirk, earning a scowl from the demon.

"I wouldn't _like_ them nearly as much if they weren't attached to you."

"A good thing or else I would worry that you'd want to stuff and mount them."

Crowley burst into laughter. "That is a truly odd mental image."

"Fitting, considering that we're a pair of very odd beings."

"I draw the line at taxidermy."

Gabriel sighed and shook his head. "Fine, no taxidermy. How's your drawing?"

"Better than most of the artists who sold their souls for fame."

"Then if you feel the need to have them near, you can draw them some time."

"I prefer them attached to you and having you near," Crowley pointed out, causing Gabriel to smile and press a kiss to his shoulder.

"I think that we'll have more time now that things are more settled," he murmured.

"That would be a pleasant change. Heaven and Hell provide a lot of annoying interruptions."

"And I know you hate being interrupted," Gabriel chuckled.

"I never do my best work—or play—with interruptions."

"Maybe we should put a machine outside the front door and make them take a number."

"Are you mad? That would just encourage them to keep coming. I should put Laddie outside the front door and let him eat them!"

"Crowley..." Gabriel said, laughing quietly, "if we don't keep track of what's going on, we're just going to have more problems, and that means less time to relax and enjoy ourselves."

"I hate it when you're logical. Go back to being indifferent to humanity and only intent on _our_ pleasure," Crowley grumbled.

"Sorry, babe," Gabriel sighed, stroking a hand over Crowley's back to relax his tense muscles. "I told Luci that I chose humanity, so I really can't be indifferent to them."

"Well, bloody hell," Crowley sighed. "How did we become the human race's fairy godmother?"

"Because Dad has as bad a sense of humor as I do?"

"I hate your Father even more than I did when I was on Hell's side."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and He'll decide to drag His ass back here so we can go back to being indigent sex-fiends."

"Now _that_ I'm willing to pray for!"

Gabriel smirked. "So do it."

Crowley scowled at him, and Gabriel blinked back at him.

"What?"

"You're a bad influence."

"Usually you like that," Gabriel pointed out.

"You're influencing me to be _good_!"

"With my wings or the sex?"

"Both. You're sneaky," Crowley grumbled, causing Gabriel to burst into laughter.

"You're just learning that now?"

"You're supposed to be on my side."

"I love you, so of course I'm on your side—that doesn't mean that I'm not going to laugh my ass off at you if the moment calls for it."

Crowley sighed. "Considering I'd do the same if the situation was reversed, I suppose I can't complain."

"Good answer, very good answer."

"There's a reason why we work."

Gabriel nodded as he continued to stroke his hands over Crowley's back. "One of them. If we didn't, we would have killed each other eons ago."

"And what a waste that would have been."

"Exactly, much better this way."

Crowley regarded him with amusement. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you planned all of it."

Gabriel's eyebrows rose as his eyes widened. "You think I let my brother skewer me with my own sword as some part of a plan? I'm not Dad, babe; I don't plan that far in advance."

"That's a relief. A sword isn't what I want to skewer you with, and I'd hate to think that's what you like."

"You know me better than that," Gabriel sniffed.

"Fortunately, yes. I'm not so sure Someone else didn't have a plan in mind though," Crowley muttered. "Do you ever wonder if things worked out a little too well for chance?"

"Don't, just don't, please," Gabriel groaned. "I'm not thinking about it."

Clearly that was a yes, and equally clearly, Gabriel didn't want to consider it, so Crowley distracted him with a kiss.

"Mmm, I could stay here for a thousand years or so," Gabriel murmured against Crowley's mouth.

"There's no reason why we can't."

"Aside from that whole King of Hell and Caretaker of Heaven thing; if we ignore them, they aren't going to go away."

Crowley gave him a mutinous frown. "I told you, feed them to Laddie."

"You're going to feed all of Heaven and Hell to Laddie? I think that he might need an antacid after that."

"I'm more than happy to provide that."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Because you know how much I love my dog?"

"Should it concern me that you can admit that you love your dog much more easily than you can admit that you love me?"

"I was fairly fond of my tailor as well," Crowley informed him, his dark eyes alight with amusement.

"I keep saying that I could bring him back if you miss him that much."

"No, I'll find another. Humans never react well when they come back. Well, aside from the Winchesters, but I think that's due to how much practice they get."

"I hope for all our sakes they don't get any more practice; enough is enough."

"You know Sam would point out that you were responsible for a lot of Dean's deaths," Crowley said, unable to resist teasing the archangel.

"Those didn't count," Gabriel sniffed haughtily. "They were in a created reality as a lesson."

"I don't think Sam really cares about the distinction. And he's not very good at learning lessons anyhow. However, I think all of them are likely to be a bit more cautious for the foreseeable future." Crowley chuckled suddenly. "Adam's the one I feel sorry for."

Gabriel blinked before raising a hand to press his palm against Crowley's forehead as if feeling for a fever. Crowley swatted his hand away with a narrow-eyed glare.

"Would you want to be trapped in a car with the whiny Winchester for hours on end?"

A snicker greeted that remark. "True, but remember, they were down there for years together; hopefully that built a bond that will transcend whininess."

"Good point. If Adam could survive Sam in a cage in Hell, he can survive him in a car that he can get back out of eventually." Crowley eyed Gabriel. "You could always go talk to him occasionally. Just don't forget to bring him a bib."

"You're taking that pretty well—better than Sam or Dean in fact."

Crowley gave him a look that questioned the archangel's intelligence. "Am I supposed to worry that you're going to throw me over for him?" His expression was eloquent of his opinion of that likelihood.

"Well, he might want to move in as a houseboy," Gabriel snickered.

"And that would be why I have Laddie guarding the door."

"Ahh, good plan there, babe. Laddie will keep you safe from little old Adam."

"You can be very annoying," Crowley observed.

"But you love me any way."

Crowley shook his head, a faint smile teasing at the corners of his mouth. "Yes, Gabriel, I love you. Happy now?"

The archangel's smile was smug but warm. "Yes I am, very happy in fact."

"I'm delighted. And I think you're quite mad."

"Babe, think about who we are and what we just did—I'm not the only crazy one here."

Crowley grinned wickedly. "I never claimed otherwise. It's why we have so much fun."

~*~

"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go," Gabriel sang out the next morning before he leaned in over Crowley, who was still in bed, and pressed a messy kiss on his forehead. "Don't worry, it won't become a habit."

Crowley stared up at him. "Should I worry about you coming home with seven midgets with pickaxes?"

"It could be fun..." Gabriel mused. "Would you wear a dress and an apron if I did?"

"Not even if you begged me."

Gabriel's grin morphed into a pout, and his eyes widened.

"No," Crowley said firmly. After eyeing him for a moment longer, he sighed and added, "But I could be convinced to wear a toga again for private viewing."

"Mmmm, you do that, and I'll bring the grape leaves."

Crowley chuckled and stretched hugely, sprawling across the burgundy cotton covered expanse of their bed. "We'll have our own Bacchanalia."

"Good times, good times," Gabriel mused while avidly watching Crowley move then leaning in to kiss him again. "I shouldn't be long, so get that toga ready."

"I'll be right here waiting," Crowley assured him. "And what will you be wearing?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out, isn't it."

Crowley made a sound reminiscent of a purr as he sat up. "I'll be looking forward to it. Hurry home, honey, or I might start without you."

"If you do that, make sure you tape it!" Gabriel chuckled before winking and vanishing.

Crowley snorted a laugh, his amusement lasting until he made it downstairs to make breakfast and found a demon sitting in his living room. "Seriously?" he growled. "Go the fuck away. I'm on vacation."

The demon, who was wearing the body of a woman who looked as if she had been a straight-laced librarian in her prior life, all mousy brown hair pulled back into a tight bun, thin body and over-sized glasses, looked unimpressed. "You have paperwork to sign."

Crowley actually stopped in his tracks to stare at her incredulously. "Paperwork?" he repeated, his eyebrows all but vanishing into his hairline.

Across the room, Laddie lay curled up in the patch of sun beneath the window, and his snuffle sounded suspiciously like laughter, causing Crowley to glare at him too.

"No kibble for you!"

"Paperwork," the librarian demon repeated. "Hell doesn't just run itself, you know."

"Why the hell not? I've killed at least half of its inhabitants, so what can you possibly need signed so badly?" Crowley stalked into the kitchen without waiting for an answer, determined to get some coffee before another minute passed.

"You killed off most any demon of power," the snide tone plainly meant other than herself. "The rabble need to be kept in order—or would you rather they all start showing up on your doorstep?"

"As I told Gabriel, if they do that, I'm feeding them to my dog!"

Crowley made a beeline for the coffee, where Gabriel had, as he had hoped, left him coffee to keep him going until he could make another pot.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled after several swallows, "what exactly do you need signed?"

The other demon's lips thinned into a satisfied smile as she carried her attaché case over to the granite island so that she could pull out rolls of parchment and spread them out over the space.

Crowley's eyes widened more with each succeeding document that appeared, and he sank down onto a stool at the breakfast bar while regarding the growing pile with obvious dismay. "Who was doing all this before?" he demanded. "Because I really doubt it was Lucifer!"

"Does it matter?" she countered. "You took the title; you take the work."

His lips curled in a tiny, vicious smile. "And the joy of being senior management is delegation. You just became my deputy. Final decisions on big stuff are mine, and the day-to-day crap is all yours, with weekly reports required."

"Of course, I didn't expect anything else. Is there any particular way you'd prefer them organized?"

Crowley eyed her with disfavor. "Don't get overly ambitious, whatever your name is. My enemies end up dead."

"Anne."

"Whatever. Oh, and I'll give you one warning. Insult Gabriel in my presence or where I can find out about it, and I'll destroy you."

"Your perversions are your own business; making sure that Hell runs smoothly is mine."

"You sound exactly like my mother used to with that superior tone," Crowley said, his expression making it clear that it wasn't a compliment.

"I'm sure that we'll have the same warm relationship that the two of you did," Anne replied dryly.

Crowley laughed with true amusement. "Cornelia would never dirty the hem of her gown by setting foot in Hell."

"Her loss, isn't it?"

"I rather think she prefers the Elysian Fields," Crowley replied.

Anne nodded shallowly as if confirming something that she had believed, causing Crowley to eye her quizzically.

"Something to ask?"

"No, I simply find it amusing that so many believed your story of who you were." She pointed to a spot on the parchment. "Sign there as well."

"It amused me," Crowley said with a shrug. "And would have appalled my entire family if any of them knew I was claiming to be a commoner," he added gleefully as he glanced over the document before signing where indicated.

"And a Christian?"

"Oh, I horrified them with that while we were all still alive," Crowley said cheerfully, clearly enjoying the memory. "Not that I actually believed in the god of the Jews or their messiah, but it did dispose me to make a deal with a Christian demon, which has worked out rather well for me."

"Ambition is its own reward," Anne replied primly before giving a throaty chuckle that seemed totally at odds with her demeanor.

Cradling his coffee cup in his hands, Crowley regarded her with increased interest. "And what was your ambition, Anne?"

"A king, though I should have realized what he was," she answered.

"Your accent is English, though that may not have been the case when you were alive, and of course, there is one very famous Anne who wanted an English king..."

She smiled thinly at the guess. "My deal had quite the side-effect, wouldn't you say?"

Crowley chuckled. "It's not every woman who can say her lust for a man and power led indirectly to the birth of an empire."

"True, though I've outgrown that phase now."

"At least of using sex to get power," Crowley responded dryly. "I'd say your presence here proves you still like power."

"And being close to it," she agreed, "but earning it rather than getting it by spreading my legs is more rewarding. Interesting that Hell would teach me that."

"Hell is full of interesting lessons. And I hate to tell you this, but Gabriel is probably going to like you."

Her upper lip twitched before she got control of herself again. "I'll take your word for that though why you would think that is beyond me."

He laughed aloud. "You're not stupid, and you're interesting. And you'll see for yourself. Or did you really think you could come here every week and not run into him?"

"Obviously not, and I would hope that you would let him know who I am so that I don't get immolated."

"Oh, he doesn't immolate demons unless they're attacking someone he cares about or is protecting," Crowley assured her airily. "He didn't immolate me, after all. Granted," he added musingly, "it was over a thousand years before I found out he was an archangel."

Anne blinked at that. "He knew you were a demon and didn't kill you the moment he saw you? Obviously he didn't, of course, but why not?"

Crowley shrugged. "We fell into bed about five minutes after we met. And kept doing that for the next millennium whenever we ran into each other. Which wasn't as often as I would have liked, but Loki always did keep himself busy."

"Loki... this is getting more and more interesting." Anne picked up the parchment and neatly rolled it up before Crowley could set his mug of coffee down onto it. "Perhaps I am looking forward to meeting your archangel."

"He's definitely unlike the others. No stick up his ass," Crowley chuckled. "And he hates to be bored." He snickered. "Which is probably why he likes Dean so much."

"So the Winchesters will possibly be visiting as well?" Somehow Anne looked more concerned about this than about Gabriel's possible presence.

"All three of them and Castiel too. Hmm, I'll have to warn them not to attack anyone on sight." Crowley sighed. "I never expected my home to become Switzerland."

"I don't believe that Switzerland has a border guard that can eat unwanted guests."

"That's Switzerland's loss. Though Gabriel keeps warning me that Laddie will get indigestion if I let him eat too many demons. He didn't say anything about salesmen, though," Crowley mused.

"They taste greasy," Anne sniffed.

"You eat them?" Crowley asked with a moue of distaste. "I'd rather eat worms."

"Once," Anne corrected. "He annoyed me."

"I can see that," Crowley admitted. "Take my advice and don't ever eat a Jehovah's Witness though, no matter how annoying they get. They're dry and stringy. I was thirsty for a week."

Anne shuddered at the image before giving a toothy grin. "A Scientologist though... They're good for a meal and a laugh."

"That's about all they're good for." Crowley sighed. "I miss the fifties. All those traveling salesmen..."

"Trying to sell you something but ending up giving you their souls for a pittance?"

Crowley smirked. "They were so easy. Though some were interesting, with bigger ambitions than a woman, house and white picket fence."

"What was the most interesting deal you ever made?" Anne asked curiously.

"The most interesting... hmm..." Crowley pondered that as he got up to get more coffee. He held up a mug, an eyebrow rising in question. "I liked the woman whose husband cheated on her. She didn't bargain to be younger or more beautiful." He chortled at the memory. "No, her bargain was for her husband to be irresistible to women. He died of exhaustion within six months, and she enjoyed the rest of her term with all his money and without him."

"Coffee would be lovely, no need to add anything unless it's alcoholic," Anne said, her lips curving into a sultry smile that seemed out of place on the librarian's face. "And she sounds like a woman after my own heart—if I had one any longer, that is."

"I live with an archangel with the biggest sweet tooth in the history of the universe," Crowley said dryly in response to her first comment. "There's Irish Cream if you like." He waited for her nod before adding some to the cup and then pouring the coffee.

He regarded her pensively as she sipped the hot beverage, clearly debating whether or not to say something. "Don't make the mistake of thinking you don't have a heart anymore, your majesty. It just takes a hell of a lot to reach it now."

"It took a hell of a lot to reach it before," she pointed out wryly before taking a sip of the coffee and giving a sensual purr. "Your archangel does make good coffee, I'll give him that."

"He does everything well, or he doesn't do it at all."

"The same could be said for you."

"Of course. There's no point in being second best."

Anne raised her coffee mug in a toast to him before taking another dainty sip.

"As you, of course, already know," Crowley chuckled. "Yes, Gabriel's going to be intrigued by you."

"Just remember, he can't sign your reports," Anne chuckled.

"If there's any justice in the universe, he'll have plenty of his own to sign."

"I'm sure that Heaven is much more of a bureaucracy than Hell," Anne offered in a conciliatory tone.

"I'm sure you're right. Of course, he also has Castiel to help him, though not at the moment."

"And what is God's littlest warrior busy doing?"

"Dean Winchester."

Anne's sculptured eyebrows rose, furrowing her pale brow. "Well, that's certainly a pretty image; do you have any video?"

Crowley chuckled. "We did, but Castiel destroyed it. But I'm sure you'll see them kissing if you're around here much. Gabriel seems to have adopted them all."

"Lovely." The word dragged out much longer than it should have been able to, making Crowley chuckle.

"You get used to them. And they're actually... interesting."

"As long as they don't try to kill me, I'll keep my hands to myself," Anne allowed.

"There's no killing here," Crowley assured her. "And as I said, Gabriel's protective of them. I think since hauling Sam and Adam out of Hell, he considers himself responsible for them. And he's always been fascinated by Dean."

"From what I understand, you had something of an interest in him as well."

"Have you ever _seen_ him?" Crowley laughed.

"When he was in Hell," she admitted. "He was quite impressive."

"He's better when he's not broken. The attitude is almost as attractive as the outside."

"I'm looking forward to seeing him then."

"Just don't get too close. He and Castiel are fairly new, and Castiel's discovered possessiveness."

"I won't piss off the darling little angel," she promised.

"If you say it like that, you'll piss off Dean," Crowley informed her. "Which can be amusing, but we try not to incite him to kill when he's agreed to refrain."

"Of course," Anne set her now empty mug on the countertop, "you're in charge; your rules are what count."

Crowley burst into laughter. "You wouldn't say that if you knew any of them. I don't think anyone's in charge around here. My authority ends in Hell and Gabriel's in Heaven."

"And here the two of them meet. I doubt there ever has been a place such as this."

"No, I'm sure not. But it suits us. And Laddie seems to like it," Crowley added with a hint of a smile when the hellhound wandered in and settled in front of the patio door.

"Well, we wouldn't want to anger the hellhound, would we?"

"Nah," Gabriel commented from the kitchen doorway where he stood wearing a designer suit with his tie pulled askew, "then he overeats, and it's a huge mess to deal with." He grinned as he looked at Crowley. "Still not dressed, babe? Rough day."

"Apparently I have _paperwork_ ," Crowley said in deep disgust. "This is Anne."

Gabriel smiled sunnily at the female demon. "Hi, Anne, be sure to keep him in line when I'm not here—and it could be worse, I have _personnel evaluations_." He shuddered at the last words.

"Crowley will have those as well," Anne assured him though her tone was somewhat wary.

"What?" Crowley exclaimed. "They're all demons; they're all bad!"

"That doesn't mean they don't appreciate being told they're doing a good job at being bad," Anne replied, causing Gabriel to snicker.

"Okay, I like you; you can stay."

"Told you so," Crowley said, most of his attention still on the horror of personnel evaluations.

"Are you saying I'm becoming predictable?"

Crowley snorted. "I have a fairly good idea of your likes, babe."

"Okay, not going to argue that, but the opposite is true as well." Gabriel's grin was wild as his wings appeared, causing Anne to flinch involuntarily.

"Calm down, he controls how they manifest," Crowley said even as he moved into the circle of Gabriel's wings, one hand reaching up to stroke them while the other slid around his archangel's waist.

"Of course," Anne's pale complexion looked even whiter, but her voice was calm as she studied the couple.

"Do you really think I would do anything to hurt Crowley?"

"You're kidding, right?" Crowley regarded Gabriel with amusement. "You're an archangel, and I'm a demon. Of course she thinks you'd hurt me.

"I, on the other hand, know you'll only hurt me as much as I ask you to and oh so deliciously," Crowley finished in a throaty purr.

Anne swallowed and reflexively licked her lower lip as she looked from the demon to the archangel then back again.

"I think we have someone who would like to be an audience," Gabriel chuckled as he slid a hand down to Crowley's ass and squeezed.

"Well, we are a lot hotter than her husband was, even before he started killing wives." Crowley thrust into the cradle of Gabriel's pelvis, groaning at the familiar feel of him.

"Killing wives?" Gabriel flicked a gaze toward Anne without turning away from Crowley. "Just who was he?"

"Henry," she replied flatly. "Huge ego, small prick, talented tongue though."

"Ahh," he chuckled, "that Henry."

Crowley chuckled. "Around here, we all have big dicks to go with the egos and talented tongues."

"Now, now, you're going to make her jealous," Gabriel mused.

"I never get jealous over men's words. They're so rarely true," Anne said coolly.

"Ah, but some of us have no need to exaggerate," Crowley informed her with a sultry smile over his shoulder.

"Would you like proof, Queen Anne?" Gabriel asked, his gaze going flinty.

"I will take you both at your word," she replied once she had found her voice again.

"Don't threaten my PA, or I'll have to do all the paperwork," Crowley said. "Behave, Gabriel. I'm sure she didn't mean to insult your manhood."

He glanced back again. "The wings are proportional."

"How fortunate the two of you are then."

Gabriel spoke at the same time. "If I can't threaten her, can I borrow her? I know they're going to bury me in the crap once they get over the rules I laid down."

"No! Get your own. And don't ask Castiel, or Dean will get bitchy."

Gabriel's face contorted into an expression of disgust. "You mean I'm going to have to break one of them in?"

"That would be entertaining to watch," Anne murmured to herself.

"I think I should make popcorn," Crowley mused.

Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

"I'll make it up to you afterward," Crowley said soothingly, the words apparently not mollifying the archangel at all if the lack of change in his expression was any indication.

"You know I know you only do that for the reaction," Crowley told him, shaking his head. "You're just going to have to suck it up."

Across the room, Laddie huffed in apparent agreement.

"I'd rather suck you up," Gabriel grumbled, "and since you both seem to think this is so amusing, how about you help me with my work?"

"Demons can't run Heaven," Crowley informed him cheerfully, earning himself a glare that should have incinerated him.

"Why do you get help and I don't?" Gabriel demanded petulantly.

"How should I know? She showed up and told me what I was supposed to do. Maybe an angel will show up for you."

"Angels don't do anything without orders—well, most of them." Gabriel stomped over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup—or tried to as the pot was empty at least it was until he looked at it narrowly.

"How sad for them," Anne mused.

"I'm sure you can train that out of them," Crowley said.

"So I have to do my own paperwork for millennia until I manage to do that?!"

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Tomorrow, ask Castiel for recommendations since he's spent more time there recently than you have, then bring a couple down here and see what you think. Then you can train one. Maybe Anne will even help. See, no millennia required."

"I'm not helping train an angel!" Anne exclaimed, half rising from her seat as Gabriel mulled the suggestion over.

"Oh, they're not that difficult," Crowley assured her. "Just think of them as the pet you never had."

"I don't like pets," she sniffed, Gabriel still appearing lost in thought through the conversation before he suddenly brightened.

"Got it!" he exclaimed, snapping his fingers and causing a young man with blond hair, blue eyes and innocent good looks, dressed in a designer suit, to appear in the kitchen as well.

Crowley regarded him with interest. "Is this your idea of an assistant or an underwear model?"

"This is Harahel. Harry, this is Crowley and his assistant, Anne; we're all going to be very happy together."

The angel blinked, still looking bewildered, and Crowley shook his head. "Did you even give him any warning before you kidnapped him out of Heaven, Gabriel?"

"I warned them to expect change," Gabriel shrugged while Anne pressed her lips together to keep from smirking.

"Why am I here?" Harahel asked, looking around in utter confusion.

"Because Crowley has an assistant and I don't want to fall behind the times," Gabriel explained. "Like the body? You're only the second of us to be here and not need a vessel."

"Ha! You did base it on that actor you like!" Crowley exclaimed. "I knew it!"

"What are you talking about?" Gabriel's tone dripped innocence.

"I've seen that movie, Gabriel."

"What? Would you rather have made him look like Al Pacino?"

Anne looked toward the angel, who still looked utterly confused, and smirked. "Don't worry, I'm sure it just gets worse."

"I'm just a member of the garrison," Harahel said plaintively.

"And now you're an archangel's assistant," Crowley informed him.

"Don't worry," Gabriel added brightly, "I'll set you up with a nice office here and upstairs, and you can deal with all the minor crap."

Anne studied her angelic counterpart before giving a low, throaty laugh. "He looks as if he's going to faint."

"She has a point, muffin," Crowley told Gabriel. "Dean's going to laugh at him."

"Well, I'm not just going to return him after I made him a body," Gabriel huffed. "Harry will adapt, won't you, Harry? Remember my great pep-talk about how the Host needs to become more human?"

"But... why me?" Harahel asked plaintively, causing Crowley to nearly double over with laughter.

"You had to find a meek angel to dump into this loony bin, Gabriel?" he snickered.

"Why you?" Ignoring Crowley's hysterics and Anne's barely concealed laughter, Gabriel looked over at the other angel. "Because you are the youngest of us all, the newest, therefore you should be the most open to change, right?" He reached out and ruffled Harahel's blond hair, giving a paternal smile. "Besides, you've been in a room with the King of Hell and his demon assistant for almost fifteen minutes now, and you haven't tried to attack either of them."

That was too much even for an overwhelmed angel, and Harahel rolled his eyes. "I doubt there is anyone anywhere in Creation unaware of your feelings for this particular demon," he said with some asperity. "I may be young, but I'm not stupid."

"Ah, he does have a backbone," Crowley said, regarding him with interest. "Maybe he won't be eaten alive after all."

"He's an angel, Crowley, not a doorstop," Gabriel said dryly. "Or a snack."

"Tell that to Dean."

"Yes, well, some angels liked to be snacked on."

Crowley snorted. "Dean's actually mostly kind to that one. It's all the others that he decimates."

"We'll introduce him to Harry, and everything will be fine," Gabriel sighed melodramatically.

Harahel looked less than thrilled by the whole situation, which Crowley was quick to point out. "I really don't think you're supposed to draft assistants, Gabriel. At least not without some kind of warning. I will admit, however, that he's an improvement on most of the utter asses you have up there."

"So not liking the lecturing," Gabriel sighed before looking over at the other angel. "Fine, do you want to go back?"

Before Harahel could answer, Crowley had pulled Gabriel back into his arms and was hugging him tightly. "I was teasing you, Gabriel, not lecturing. That's not ever going to happen."

Watching them, Harahel's expression softened as Gabriel relaxed into the embrace though Anne looked slightly disgusted.

"So are you staying or not?" she asked her angelic counterpart. "Because the sooner the comforting ends, the better."

His eyes still fixed on the other couple—or at least on what he could see of them since Gabriel's wings were now wrapped completely around Crowley, hiding him and obscuring most of Gabriel as well—Harahel nodded slowly.

"I am. I wish to understand them."

"I doubt anyone will ever be able to do that," she sighed.

"And we like it that way," Gabriel said, proving that he had been listening to their conversation.

"It keeps everyone on their toes," Crowley agreed. He caught hold of the edge of one wing, pushing it down and back so that he could see Anne and Harry, his fingertips lightly stroking the feathers at the same time.

"Which is how we like it," Gabriel reiterated as he nodded, leaving one wing curved around Crowley as he turned to study the other two. "So, you'll need a place to work because I like to fuck Crowley on the island, and I'm sure you'll bitch if we make a mess of your paperwork."

Harahel sputtered while Anne eyed the island with disdain. "How very unhygienic," she said with clear disapproval.

"Oh please, they hadn't even re-invented hygiene when you were alive," Crowley snorted. "And don't knock it till you've tried it, your majesty."

"Have you seen what Henry looked like when he was young?" Anne retorted. "I _have_ tried it."

Gabriel's focus shifted, and he gave a pleasured hum. "And it was a pretty sight."

"Pervert," she sniffed though there was something almost admiring in her tone.

"Of course he is or we'd never have gotten together the first time," Crowley chuckled.

"And they wonder why I left home," Gabriel chuckled, at least until Harahel looked over at him.

"It is said you left because you grew tired of the fighting between Michael and Lucifer."

"Yeah," Gabriel shrugged, "that too."

"Fortunately for me. I don't think I'd have met an archangel any other way," Crowley said.

"Being Loki was more fun at the time."

"And you're all about the fun," Crowley replied. "Or so you'd like everyone to believe," he murmured in the angel's ear too softly for anyone else to hear.

"You are very different from Michael and Raphael," Harahel observed, seeming undecided as to whether that was good or bad.

"Go ahead and say it," Gabriel coaxed, "I'm more human."

"Perhaps. I haven't spent much time with humans to be certain."

"Oh, he is," Crowley assured him. "He and Dean are practically separated at birth."

"I wonder if the elder Winchester would take that as a compliment," Anne mused.

"Possibly. Dean's nothing if not unpredictable, at least in some ways," Crowley said.

"But not in others," Gabriel pointed out.

"Which is what makes him special," Crowley added. "I don't think anyone else could have pulled off what he and Sam did."

"Most demons would prefer that they had failed," Anne put in.

"Most demons are idiots."

"Which is why most of them are dead," Gabriel added, "and it wasn't me who did it either."

"They irritated me," Crowley said, making Anne smother laughter.

"And is that why Raphael is in the cage with Michael and Lucifer?" Harahel asked.

"That was because what he had planned wasn't good for humanity," Gabriel said easily.

"And he's a dick," Crowley added, "but I don't think Gabriel would have pushed him into the cage just for that."

"I can be a dick too," Gabriel pointed out wryly.

"Yes, but you're my dick, and I like what you do with your dick."

"So glad to hear it."

"I wonder if there is an angel or demon who doesn't know that fact," Anne mused to Harahel.

"I do not believe so. It's a matter of some consternation in Heaven though now that I see them together, I believe I understand why if not how."

"Apparently, they've been having sex for eons," Anne mused, her gaze flicking from the angel to the couple and then back.

Harahel frowned. "Then no, I don't understand."

"I'm hot," Crowley told him, making Harahel roll his eyes again.

"I can feel the love between you. But unless I misunderstand—"

"Wait just a damned minute," Crowley growled, turning to give Gabriel the evil eye. "He can _feel_ love?"

Gabriel shrugged innocently before sighing at Crowley's glower. "Fine, fine, yes, he can feel it; I can feel it; if Cas was here, he could feel it. Angels, remember?"

"So all along you—" Crowley's scowl deepened as he broke off.

"It feels warm," Harahel offered before Gabriel cut in, his grin almost blinding in its intensity.

"It's a warm, bubbly, enveloping sensation; sort of like being wrapped in an effervescent Snuggie—a pink one."

" _What_?!?" Crowley exploded, looking nauseated while Anne made gagging sounds, their expressions sending Gabriel into hysterics that had him sinking down onto the floor, his wings vanishing as he held his sides as laughter rocked him.

"I do not know what a Snuggie is, but the sensation is much as Gabriel describes," Harahel offered, his brows furrowing as he watched the archangel.

"I'm going to be ill," Crowley announced.

"I do believe I'll join you," Anne said, shuddering delicately, both of their reactions sending Gabriel into a fit of hysterics again.

"You can be very annoying at times," Crowley observed, eyeing the chortling archangel with disfavor.

"But you love me anyway," Gabriel said between gasps for air.

"Not if you ever compare anything to a Snuggie again."

"I believe that Gabriel said it was a pink Snuggie," Harahel offered seriously, earning a scowl from Crowley.

"Not helping, Harry!" he growled.

"He—he's being precise," Gabriel howled. "It's good for an assistant to be precise!"

"I really want to kick you right now."

"If you do it, give him one for me," Anne said dryly, knowing better than to go anywhere near the archangel.

Harahel frowned at them both, his head hovering over his side where his sword was concealed, and Gabriel caught his gaze, shaking his head minutely.

"Sorry, Annie," he laughed, "Crowley's kicks come with perks."

She gave him an incredulous stare at the nickname, though it seemed to have no effect on the unrepentant archangel.

"Don't waste your time, Anne," Crowley offered, sounding amused. "He's immune." Despite his tone, he was watching the younger angel carefully, if unobtrusively, clearly aware of his reaction.

"I'm hungry," Gabriel announced, as he got to his feet, aiming a look at Harahel that had the other angel moving his hand from his side. "We need dessert."

"I thought it was customary to eat a meal before your sweet," Anne commented.

"I'm fairly certain that tricksters were not known for having a sweet tooth before Gabriel pretended to be one for so long," Crowley said.

"Mmm, I love bad habits with no repercussions," Gabriel purred, slinging an arm around Harahel's shoulder and propelling him toward the stove. "C'mon, Harry, I'll teach you how to make the world's best burger."

"I am not a cook!" the other angel sputtered.

"Neither am I, but it's fun."

"It's perfectly safe," Crowley informed Anne, who was looking dubious. "He's actually a fairly good cook."

"Is everything he makes going to be disgustingly sweet?" Anne asked while Gabriel introduced Harahel to the wonders of pots and pans.

"Hell no. I wouldn't let him cook if it was," Crowley replied with a shudder. "Though he is partial to desserts."

"Sugar is your friend," Gabriel called back at them.

"If you were human, you'd be as wide as you are tall," Crowley shot back.

"Nah, I get a lot of exercise," Gabriel chuckled, waggling his eyebrows.

"I'm looking forward to seeing examples of this," Anne murmured.

"Are you talking about the food or the exercise?" Crowley chuckled.

"I'll leave it to your imagination," she chuckled throatily while Gabriel gave the conversation a thumbs up from where he was watching Harahel crack eggs into a bowl.

"Excellent, I always loved an appreciative audience!"

"Did you want to start selling tickets?" Crowley inquired dryly, shaking his head at the archangel, though there was a glint of interest in his dark eyes.

"We could retire with those profits."

"And leave Anne and Harry in charge?" Crowley chuckled.

"Sounds good to me," Gabriel laughed, the exchange causing both Anne and Harahel to give identical horrified looks.

"No!" Harry exclaimed, his wings almost manifesting in his distress.

"Careful there," Crowley exclaimed. "Gabriel, you'd better teach him how to show off his wings without incinerating anyone, and sooner rather than later."

"Later," Gabriel said negligently, snapping his fingers as he spoke. "There, no accidents until he's all puppy trained."

Crowley snickered. "You're going to make him burst if you keep saying things like that."

"Nah, what would be the fun in that?"

"Are you sure you're an angel?" Anne asked, sounding amused.

"One of a kind," Gabriel nodded at the same time Harahel turned to look at the demon.

"He is an archangel."

"Who would have made one hell of a demon," she said, still regarding Gabriel with interest.

Crowley snickered. "I've mentioned that a time or two myself."

"Nah, I have more fun as me," Gabriel assured them before looking back at the bowl. "Keep stirring, Harry; I'll get the cocoa."

"My name is Harahel," the angel sighed, knowing that no one was listening.

"I hope that's not going into the burgers," Crowley said dryly, even though he assumed that and the eggs were for Gabriel's beloved dessert.

"Why shouldn't it?" Gabriel asked even as he poured cocoa into the mixture Harahel was stirring.

"That... is rather disturbing," Anne murmured.

"And you haven't even encountered the chocolate chip scrambled eggs yet," Crowley muttered. Gabriel might be a good cook in general, but some of his experiments were less than stellar successes.

The female demon gagged delicately. "I believe I'll be working from Hell that day."

"I made him promise never to make them again around any other living being. Laddie insisted it not be limited to human-type life forms."

"They have no taste," Gabriel confided to Harahel, the words causing the younger angel's blue eyes to narrow slightly.

"They are demons, but I believe I might have to agree with them in regards to that."

"How would you know?" Gabriel protested. "You've never eaten food!"

"It sounds dreadful, and two _demons_ , both of whom were once human, look horrified by the idea. Not to mention that a hellhound refuses to eat it."

Crowley snickered. "Okay, I wondered for a while, angel mine, but this one's a keeper."

"None of you have any taste," Gabriel sniffed theatrically as he slid the hamburgers onto the grill.

"I think you have that backwards," Crowley informed him. He moved behind Gabriel, sliding his arms around him and resting his chin on the archangel's shoulder in a gesture that spoke of comfort and familiarity.

"Maybe," Gabriel admitted, leaning back into the embrace, aware of the demon and angel watching them and not caring. "But you know that I taste good." The last was added with a smirk.

"Mmm hmm." Crowley licked the side of Gabriel's neck, then nibbled on the damp flesh. "Much better than chocolate."

"Mmm, keep it up and the food's going to burn," Gabriel purred.

"Multi-task," Crowley advised.

"Are the two of you going to copulate now?" Harahel asked, sounding vaguely horrified at the thought.

"Don't mind us if you are," Anne purred from where she leaned against the island.

"Get your own angel," Crowley chuckled, glancing over his shoulder at her. "And no, Harry, not now. Gabriel gets very annoyed if anything interferes with his meals."

"Hey!" the archangel protested. "I have priorities!"

"And I should be number one."

"Are you saying that I can't do you and eat at the same time?"

"Sounds messy."

"That's half the fun."

Anne made a soft murmur of agreement that caused Harahel to turn a wide-eyed look on her while Crowley chuckled. "True, but not particularly nourishing."

"None of us here require nourishment," Anne pointed out.

"We don't want Laddie to get hungry," Gabriel pointed out with a chuckle.

"Your hellhound participates in your kinky games? Why, Crowley, I underestimated you."

"You started this; you deal with it," Crowley informed Gabriel.

"Crowley and I are hung better than Laddie, and we don't want to give him an inferiority complex, so we let him sit out the sex games," Gabriel shrugged while Harahel goggled at all of them.

"Impressive," Crowley approved. "Your burgers are going to burn," he warned, peering over Gabriel's shoulder.

"Nah, they're perfect," Gabriel assured him as he flipped the burgers with a snap of his fingers before reaching back to grope Crowley's ass. "And Harry, pour the batter in the tins and get it in the oven, would you?"

"I'll bet he's the first angel in history to become a sous-chef," Crowley mused.

"It broadens his horizons; it's good for him," Gabriel assured them, winking at the other angel, who was studiously following the instructions he had been given.

"Heaven must be exceedingly boring if making a cake can be considered broadening his horizons," Anne laughed before leaning over Harahel's shoulder and dragging a finger through the batter to taste it.

"Gabriel did not say to do that," Harahel said, frowning, and Crowley pressed his forehead to Gabriel's shoulder to hide his laughter.

"How do you know that it's good if you don't taste it?" she countered. "You're going to have to learn to think for yourself some, Harry."

Harahel turned an enquiring gaze on Gabriel. "Should I taste it?"

"If you want; batter is good." As he spoke, Gabe stuck his finger in the batter and held it back over his shoulder for Crowley to try.

After carefully licking the finger clean and sucking it to make sure he hadn't missed any, Crowley murmured, "Very good. You can bake me a cake anytime."

"It is good," Harahel agreed after carefully scooping out a small amount with one fingertip and tasting it.

"Hells yeah, it's good," Gabriel laughed, bumping back against Crowley as he spoke. "And I'll bake you a real cake later, babe."

"You do realize that our main job is going to be keeping them out of bed long enough to make the decisions that need to be made," Anne commented as she stole another fingerful of batter.

"I do not believe that is possible," Harahel decided, watching Gabriel and Crowley, who were now kissing. "Perhaps we can speak to them between, er—"

"Rounds? Bouts? They do have to rehydrate every so often, so I would hope so."

Harahel sputtered.

Ignoring them, Crowley pressed Gabriel against the counter after turning him and kissed him.

"Distracted again," Anne sighed. "Put the batter in the oven, Harry, and we can set a timer so that their food doesn't burn."

"Are they going to fornicate on the counter?"

"Probably; are you planning on staying and taking notes?"

"I see no use for such notes," Harahel announced after considering it. "Should we leave them?"

"Go 'way, children; we'll talk to you later," Gabriel muttered as he waved his hand, sending the angel and demon back their respective realms.

"Very useful," Crowley murmured against his throat.

"So glad you approve," Gabriel chuckled. "So are you planning on fucking me on the counter?"

"I haven't done that yet today," Crowley replied as their clothes vanished.

"We were interrupted."

"We won't be this time."

"Is that a promise?"

"Laddie's on guard for us." Crowley bit Gabriel's throat.

"The food will turn itself off if we aren't done when it is," Gabriel purred, writhing against Crowley's body.

"Smart man," Crowley chuckled, turning them so that when he hoisted Gabriel up he landed on the counter and not the grill. "I'll have to reward you for that."

"I was hoping that you would say that." As he spoke, Gabriel wrapped his legs around Crowley's waist and pulled their bodies together.

"You doubted?" Dark brows rose as Crowley positioned himself so that the tip of his erection was pressing against Gabriel's hole.

"Well, you do have your paperwork to consider..."

"You're more fun."

"Damn right I am, so fuck me already."

"So demanding," Crowley scolded, chuckling. "Maybe I should teach you about patience."

"You've got to be kidding," Gabriel snorted, arching his hips to rub against Crowley's dick. "You're the least patient being I know."

"Second to you," Crowley retorted, pushing into him, Gabriel groaning out his pleasure at the burning stretch.

"What's the point in patience? I'm an instant gratification kind of guy."

"I never would have guessed." Crowley pulled back and drove into him again, hard, smirking down at Gabriel, who groaned as he pulled Crowley down to kiss him, his tongue mimicking the rhythm of their hips as they clashed together.

Crowley chuckled into the kiss, his fingers biting into Gabriel's hips as he yanked the archangel up to meet every thrust, groaning with every impact.

Gabriel moaned, tightening down around Crowley's length, a quick snap of his fingers freezing the burgers on the grill so that they didn't burn even as the bowl that had held the batter clanged against the floor.

"You lost your cake," Crowley chuckled.

"Cake's in the oven; that's the extra."

"Oh really?" Crowley glanced over at it, looking intrigued, causing Gabriel to chuckle even as he clenched down around Crowley's cock.

"Planning on playing with it?"

"I do like to make a dessert of you..."

In a flash the bowl was in Gabriel's hand and he was dragging a finger through the leftover batter before tracing it down Crowley's chest. "And vice versa."

"I knew there was a reason I like you. You're the kinkiest angel ever to escape Heaven," Crowley laughed.

"Hey, no insulting me," Gabriel protested.

"That was a compliment."

"I didn't escape; I'm pulled back into it."

"But on your own terms, mostly." Crowley covered Gabriel's mouth with his, preventing whatever he was about to say as he concentrated on fucking him, the archangel apparently deciding that the fucking was better than the talking because he leaned back and arched his back to take Crowley deeper.

Crowley reared back, staring down at Gabriel and watching his cock slide in and out of Gabriel's ass. "Jerk yourself off," he rasped. "I want to watch you."

Amber eyes darkened as Gabriel reached for his own cock, stroking it in time with Crowley's thrusts, tightening down around the other man's cock with each stroke.

"Come for me," Crowley ordered, his eyes dark with lust, Gabriel groaning at the command, his hand moving faster before he arched upward, gasping out a broken cry as he spurted over Crowley's chest, droplets spilling down onto his own chest.

"Gorgeous," Crowley panted, staring down at him and continuing to rock in and out of him, gradually speeding up until he came too, pressed deep inside Gabriel.

"And tasty too," Gabriel purred, keeping Crowley pressed up against him.

"Yes, you are," Crowley chuckled.

"So, we have assistants... Care to take bets on how many times we shock Harry?"

"I don't think even we can count that high."

"I could have Cas talk to him..." Gabriel mused as he stroked his hands down Crowley's back, seemingly content to stay where he was.

"About being shocked by us? I'm not sure which of them would be more uncomfortable. We might want to keep Adam away from him though. I don't need both of them panting after you." Crowley chuckled, his lips curving against Gabriel's shoulder.

"You know you're the only one for me, babe," Gabriel murmured into the demon's dark hair. "After all, I wouldn't be here without you."

"And I'm all yours," Crowley admitted, turning his head to press a kiss to Gabriel's chest.

"Damn right; we're going to have a fuck-load of fun even with the," Gabriel shuddered under Crowley's weight, "paperwork."

END


End file.
